Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
