it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
