hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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