ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
