I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
two words...techno handjob
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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