No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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