I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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