Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
