So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
