she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
