i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
