you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
