I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
