she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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