This girl is more easily done than said...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
