birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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