he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
