just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
