Joe is yelling at the trees again.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
