i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It's Friday. Sex?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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