They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Randomize
