I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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