wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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