he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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