I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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