i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
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He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
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You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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