It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
