Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize