Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
