Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
