What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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