u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
