my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize