When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
