I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
