im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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