Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
