I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize