I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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