I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
