playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
