whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
jump out the window naked night went bad
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
