Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
