i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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