don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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