I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
