those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It was confusing and full of hummus
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
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i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
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All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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