Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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