there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
