So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
