fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
