so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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