That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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