Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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