Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
