My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize