hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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