I'd wear matching sweaters with you
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
